Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a colloquialism, loosely defined as making someone question their own reality.

The term may also be used to describe a person (a "gaslighter") who presents a false narrative to another group or person which leads them to doubt their perceptions and become misled (generally for the gaslighters' own benefit), disoriented or distressed. Generally, this dynamic is possible only when the audience is vulnerable, such as in unequal power relationships, or when the audience is fearful of the losses associated with challenging the false narrative. Gaslighting is not necessarily malicious or intentional, although in some cases it is.

The term is derived from the 1944 film Gaslight, in which a husband uses trickery to convince his wife that she is mentally unwell so he can steal from her.

Charles Boyer, Ingrid Bergman, and Joseph Cotten in the 1944 film Gaslight

Gaslighting was largely an obscure or esoteric term until the mid-2010s, when it broadly seeped into English lexicon. According to the American Psychological Association, the term "once referred to manipulation so extreme as to induce mental illness or to justify commitment of the gaslighted person to a psychiatric institution but is now used more generally". The term is now simply defined as "to make someone question their reality."

The New York Times used the common gerund form, gaslighting, in Maureen Dowd's 1995 column. Prior to its usage in The New York Times, "gaslighting" was used in "Fortysomething", a 1994 episode of the American sitcom Frasier. However, there were only nine additional uses in the following twenty years. The American Dialect Society recognized the word gaslight as the "Most Useful" new word of the year in 2016. Oxford University Press named gaslighting as a runner-up in their list of the most popular new words of 2018.

"Gaslighting" is occasionally used in clinical literature but is considered a colloquialism by the American Psychological Association.

The article "Gaslighting: A Marital Syndrome" (1988) examines certain male behaviors during and after their extramarital affairs, as well as the effect of those behaviors and associated attitudes on the men's spouses. They conclude that both husbands and male therapists may contribute to the women's distress, through not only mislabeling the women's reactions but also through the continuation of certain stereotypical attitudes that reflect negatively on the affected wife.

"Therapists may contribute to the victim's distress through mislabeling the [victim's] reactions. [...] The gaslighting behaviors of the spouse provide a recipe for the so-called 'nervous breakdown' for some [victims] [,and] suicide in some of the worst situations."

Dorpat also cautions clinicians about the unintentional abuse of patients when using interrogation and other methods of covert control in Psychotherapy and Analysis, as these methods can subtly coerce patients rather than respect and genuinely help them.: 31–46  In a 1997 case study, Lund and Gardiner reviewed a case of paranoid psychosis in an elderly female who was reported to have recurrent episodes, apparently induced by the staff of the institution where the patient was a resident. Other experts have pointed out ways in which the values and techniques of therapists can be harmful as well as helpful to clients (or indirectly to other people in a client's life). Dorpat recommended non-directive and egalitarian attitudes and methods on the part of clinicians,: 225  "treating patients as active collaborators and equal partners".: 246 

Some psychologists are not encouraged by this increased international awareness of the dangers of gaslighting, warning that overuse of the term could dilute its potency and downplay the serious health consequences of such abuse.

Some individuals cannot tolerate disagreement with or criticism of their worldview from important individuals in their life (e.g., friends, loved ones, romantic partners). An effective way to neutralize the possibility of criticism is to undermine others' conception of themselves as an autonomous locus of thought, judgment, and action. This effectively reduces the target's capacity to criticize or respond independently.

Gaslighting is a term used in self-help and amateur psychology to describe a dynamic that can occur in personal relationships (romantic or parental) and in workplace relationships. Gaslighting involves two parties; the "gaslighter", who persistently puts forth a false narrative, and the "gaslighted", who struggles to maintain their individual autonomy. Typically, gaslighting is only effective when there is an unequal power dynamic or when the gaslighted has given the gaslighter their respect.

Gaslighting is different from genuine relationship disagreement, which is both common and important in relationships. Gaslighting is distinct in that:

• one partner is consistently listening and considering the other partner's perspective;
• one partner is consistently negating the other's perception, insisting that they are wrong, or telling them that their emotional reaction is irrational or dysfunctional.

Over time, the listening partner may exhibit symptoms often associated with anxiety disorders, depression, or low self-esteem. As opposed to these conditions, gaslighting requires a second party actively manipulating the perceptions of the other.

Gaslighting is a way to control the moment, stop conflict, ease anxiety, and feel in control. However, it often deflects responsibility and tears down the other person. Some may gaslight their partners by denying events, including personal violence.

Gaslighting is a learned trait. A gaslighter is a student of social learning. They witness it, experience it themselves, or stumble upon it, and see that it works, both for self-regulation and co-regulation. People with short term mental illness (e.g., depression), substance induced illness (e.g., alcoholism), mood disorders (e.g., bipolar), anxiety disorders (e.g., PTSD), personality disorder (e.g., BPD, NPD, etc.), neurodevelopmental disorder (e.g., ADHD), or combination of the above (i.e., co-morbidity) can be prone to and adept at convincing others to doubt their own perceptions.

Habilitation

It can be difficult to extricate oneself from a gaslighting power dynamic:

• Those who gaslight must attain greater emotional awareness and self-regulation, or;
• Those being gaslighted must learn that they don't need others to validate their reality and they need to gain self-reliance and confidence in defining their own reality.

Gaslighting is more likely to be effective when the gaslighter has a position of power.

In the 2008 book State of Confusion: Political Manipulation and the Assault on the American Mind, the authors contend that the prevalence of Gaslighting in American politics began with the age of modern communications:

To say gaslighting was started by... any extant group is not simply wrong, it also misses an important point. Gaslighting comes directly from blending modern communications, marketing, and advertising techniques with long-standing methods of propaganda. They were simply waiting to be discovered by those with sufficient ambition and psychological makeup to use them.

The term has been used to describe the behavior of politicians and media personalities on both the left and the right sides of the political spectrum. Some examples include:

• "Gaslighting" has been used to describe Russia's global relations. While Russian operatives were active in Crimea, Russian officials continually denied their presence and manipulated the distrust of political groups in their favor.
• Columnist Maureen Dowd described the Bill Clinton administration's use of the technique in subjecting Newt Gingrich to small indignities intended to provoke him to make public complaints that "came across as hysterical".
• American journalists widely used the word "gaslighting" to describe the actions of Donald Trump during the 2016 US presidential election and his term as president.
• "Gaslighting" has been used to describe state implemented psychological harassment techniques used in socialist East Germany during the 1970s and 80s. The techniques were used as part of the Stasi's (the state security service's) decomposition methods, which were designed to paralyze the ability of hostile-negative (politically incorrect or rebellious) people to operate without unjustifiably imprisoning them, which would have resulted in international condemnation.

The word "gaslighting" is often used incorrectly. According to Robin Stern, PhD, co-founder of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, "For those who [actually] experience gaslighting, the widespread misuse of the word is damaging to them". The recent and excessive misuse of the word is following the path paved by words like “psychopath” and “narcissist” which have definitions that are largely different from the sensational or hyperbolic way the words are used by some. Many psychologists are not encouraged by this increased use of "gaslighting" as overuse and misuse of the term is diluting its usefulness.

In 2019, CNN's nightly news commentary, Anderson Cooper 360°, aired 24 episodes about the lies being told by politicians in the news. The segments were named "Keeping Them Honest: We'll Leave The Gaslight On For You, Part __".

In 2018, NBC's soap opera Days of Our Lives had a monthslong storyline about retaliation and Gabi's systematic efforts to have her best friend Abigail committed into a mental health care facility. In the end, Gabi gleefully confessed to Abigail what she had done to her and why.

In 2017, Harvey Weinstein orchestrated extraordinary efforts to undermine the perceptions and reality of women he sexually preyed upon, the journalists investigating their stories, and the public. He hired Lisa Bloom, the high-profile attorney who represented women sexually abused by Bill Cosby and women who accused Bill O’Reilly, and Donald Trump of sexual misconduct, for her expertise, including intimate knowledge of how to prey on the vulnerabilities of sexual abuse survivors. Journalist Ronan Farrow has alleged that NBC did not air his investigation of Weinstein because Weinstein threatened to disclose the sexual indiscretions of NBC's The Today Show host Matt Lauer and MSNBC’s president, Phil Griffin. Farrow also alleges that Weinstein retained intelligence/espionage firm, Black Cube, to uncover vulnerabilities to dissuade journalists who were closing in on Weinstein from going public. Weinstein granted interviews to the New York Post to tout his contributions to society including helping women advance in Hollywood and his work on a charity concert that raised $100M for the 9/11 first responders through the Robin Hood Foundation.

In the 2016 film The Girl on the Train, Rachel suffered from severe depression and alcoholism. The storyline evolved around Rachel's blackouts as her husband consistently tells her that she had done terrible things that she didn't actually do.

During the period 2014-2016, the world's longest running drama (1950 - present),[44] BBC Radio 4's soap opera The Archers, aired a two-year long storyline about Helen who was subjected to slow-burning coercive control by her bullying, manipulative husband, Rob. The show shocked the United Kingdom, sparking a national discussion about domestic abuse.

In a 2000 interview, the writers of the song "Gaslighting Abbie" (Steely Dan album Two Against Nature) explain that the lyrics were inspired by a term they heard in New York City, "gaslighting", which they believed was derived from the 1944 movie Gaslight. "It is about a certain kind of mind [manipulation] or messing with somebody’s head".